Coming Home to Connection

For almost two decades, I lived at a distance from my family—not just in geography but in mindset. I built my life around autonomy, movement, and problem-solving at scale. And then, thanks to a guided psychedelic experience, I had a profound realization:

There was a hole in my soul.

A part of myself that was unacknowledged, that I judged, and therefore, that I resented myself for. That realization set me on a year-long journey—one that ultimately led me back home last year.

But moving back home has brought me face-to-face with a different kind of complexity: the deeply relational work of reweaving bonds with my mother and siblings. In doing so, I’m learning that the foundation of Building Learning Organizations isn’t strategy—it’s connectedness.

Humberto Maturana wrote, “Love is the only emotion that expands intelligence.” In his work, love is not romance or sentimentality but the ability to see another as a legitimate other—to engage without control, domination, or fear. This concept is as relevant in families as it is in organizations.

Mette Miriam Rakel Böll's Ladder of Connectedness offers a profound way to understand this shift.

Ladder of Connectedness by Mette Boll illustrated by Shakti Arora

Learning organizations require people to move down the ladder—from emotional disconnect, ingroup empathy, or cognitive processing, toward neutral presence, altruism, and ultimately, profound interconnectedness. This shift allows us to:

• Move from silos to shared meaning—seeing each other as legitimate others opens space for collaboration.

• Cultivate containers of safety —people learn best when they feel seen and valued.

• Expand systemic intelligence—compassion enables people to listen, reflect, and adapt rather than react.

Living with my mother again is teaching me that learning is not just about acquiring knowledge—it is about how we relate to each other. The hardest (and most valuable) lessons are in how we listen, how we hold space for change, how we create trust in moments of discomfort.

For organizations, the same principles apply. A true learning organization is one where people feel safe to explore, question, and evolve—not in isolation, but together. And for that, we must continuously shift our ways of seeing, listening, and showing up for one another.

Where in your work—or life—are you being invited to move down the ladder toward deeper connection and learning?